Wondering and Wandering

Nothing to do at home. It's strange how I spend 24/5 thinking about booking out from camp, and when the freedom comes, I find it unsettling. Let's see where has the Treetop Community gone to since we last met:

• Ginway and Thng are enjoying the company of snakes under the canopy of trees in Brunei.
• Raymond is savouring the freedom of being disrupted.
• Ivan & Ken Toh: Unknown.
• Eddie: Away on MSN.

While I was sadly walking on my way back to Choa Chu Kang busstop in my nerdy black specs, I met the toilet cleaner auntie. She still remembered me. Seemed to treat me like her son, which I greatly appreciated. (even though this time she had no mangoes or tea to give me)She asked how was I doing in the army, whether I was still coping well and many other general stuffs....

Let's see,....still got one ipod mini that I promised my little sister that I would buy. Hope she likes pink. (though I said that I would only buy after her "O"s..) Must go hunt around Sim Lim some time later.

Darth Vader Vs Lord Voldemort

What happens if we pit the two biggest fictitious villians against each other?Which/who will emerge as Primero Evil? Now presenting to you....Celebrity Deathmatch!

10 reasons why Darth Vader will triumph over Lord Voldemort:

1. Darth Vader just kicks ass with his ultra sleek black gear. Lord Voldemort as you last recall was wrapped like an ugly baby in a bag (harry potter 5). Not exactly a good way a villian should emerge from the ashes.
2. Vader's mechanical breath makes asthmatics look cool. Mention it to any technogeek and he will quiver with excitement at the sound of his breath."Heave, Breath"
3. The whole Star Wars saga IS about Darth Vader. Lord Voldemort is just there to irritate the hell out of Harry Potter and his Weasley gang.
   
4. Voldemort sounds disgusting (think vomit). Its akin to a swear word in the wizard world. Who likes his name to be a swear word?
5. Voldemort is just an ugly old mug that goes around "avadra kedavra " everyone with his puny magical wand of his. In contrast, Vader can slice people up with his lightsabre. If his sabre fails, he can always use the Force, e.g. choke people.
   
6. Vader was actually handsome enough to have a wife. (used to, now she's a goner). Voldemort is a bachelor in waiting. (as if anyone wants to marry him)
7. Vader was actually the father of our main hero Luke! That spices up the whole deal. I can't imagine Voldemort saying, "Harry, I am your Father!..."
8. Vader wiped out almost the whole Jedi Order (save two). Voldemort can't claim the credit of almost killing the whole wizardry world.
9. Darth Vader was actually a good Jedi Knight that loved his wife so much that he became twisted. Voldemort was just pissed off with the whole world because his father abused his mother. Vader still had some good in him.
10. Did I mention the black insect exoskeleton of Vader looks so much cooler than Voldemort's outfit?

If you actually bother to read this, you have just read through the random thoughts of a very bored mind.

Mercenary

Besides the $450 paycheck (or rather allowance) that I receive monthly, there are other ways of earning fast cash. Realised that in my camp (not sure in other camp though), there is a price tag to everything. People strive to slack as much as possible, thus they offer a lucrative deal to mercenaries to do their mundane duties.

*Eg: Weekday guard duty=$80-$120

Weekend guard duty=$200++
Flag bearer (mon to thur)=$15
Flag bearer on Friday=$20
*note: Prices maybe subjected to change.

If you could recall, I was quite sarcastic towards the vices in my camp. Here's approaching it from a practical point of view. Assuming that the poor sod earns $450 a month:

Cigarettes=$9.50 -$11 every 2 days
Geylang (you know what i mean)=$40
Booze=$50-$80
Food=$3-$5 (daily)
Transport=$3 (daily)
So, end up with:$450-$11 X 15 -$3 X 30 -$3 X 30 -$40 -$50= $15 ++--
Thats what he earns every month.
Moral(e) of story: If you want to be rich, don't engage in vices. That doesn't mean that once you are rich, you go find vices.

Final Fantasy VII

Probably my favourite RPG (role-playing game) of all times. Available in PC or Playstation form. Though the graphics is ancient (1997), it challenges the emotions and the mind the most (the superb storyline and the very subtle symbolism; playing a fun and not so mindless game..) I have played FFVI, FFVIII and FFIX, but I will still replay FFVII anytime.

Its storyline is very engaging, and it contains many parallels to our human society at large. (about how the humans are slowly destroying the planet, etc etc). Which is why it still attracts millions of fan guys and girls around the world. There is so much more that I can write about it; it's best to play it and experience for yourself.

Note: To all FFVII fans out there, Advent Children is coming out this September!!..Woohoo...Nice DVD movie to watch. If you know Japanese, please help me translate the trailers..thanks. Final Fantasy 7:Advent Children

Jokes :D

Enjoy.

The Atheist:

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that the 'accident of evolution' had created. Along the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes. As he turned, he saw a seven-foot grizzly charging at him. Alarmed, he ran as fast as he could up the path, but the bear was bearing in close.

Fear made him run even faster, but when he looked over his shoulder, the bear was even closer. Tears sprang to his eyes and his heart pumped frantically as he tried to run faster. Just then, he tripped and fell. He rolled over to pick himself up and saw the bear right on top of him, raising its paw to strike him. At that instant, he cried out, "Oh my God!"

Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent; even the river stopped running. A bright light shone on the man and a voice came out of the sky saying, "You deny my existence all these years, teach others I don't exist, and credit my creation to a cosmic accident, and now you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"

The atheist looked to the light and said, "It would be hypocritical for me to ask to be a Christian after all these years, but could you make the bear a Christian?" "Very well," the voice said.

The light went out, the river ran, the sounds of the forest came back, and the bear turned away from the man. It brought its paws together, bowed his head, and said, "Lord, thank you for this food which I am about to receive."

Meeting with the Devil:

A preacher was giving a sermon when the devil suddenly appeared ­ pandemonium reigned as the entire congregation fled the church except for one old man.

When the church had been emptied, the devil went up to the man and asked, "Aren't you afraid of me? I am evil incarnate, the most horrific being in the universe and I will torture you."

"You don't scare me," the old man replied, "I've been married to your sister for 35 years!"

One Wish(i find this the funniest):


A man walking along a beach was deep in prayer. All of a sudden, he said out loud, "Lord, grant me one wish." Immediately, the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have had the faith to ask, I will indeed grant you one wish."

The man said, "Please build a bridge to Hawaii so that I can drive over anytime I want to."

The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking, the amount of work required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for such worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honour and glorify me."

The man thought for a long time. Finally, he said, "Lord, I have been married and divorced four times. All of my wives say that I am uncaring and insensitive. I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say, 'nothing', and how I can make a woman truly happy."

After a few minutes of silence, God said, "Do you want two lanes or four on that bridge?"

Guard duty, again...

I do not have fond memories of guard duty, especially if one was chased by a wild boar the previous time. That lump of fat is amazingly, surprisingly fast for one that bulky. Realising that my little baton and rattan shield were not going to be that much help, I jumped and took cover at a nearby tree before getting gored.

This time, I was back on mainland doing guard duty. Instead of the useless pieces of wood, I now carry M16 plus 5 miserable live rounds. In the middle of the night and early morning when most people will be asleep, I was doing my rounds around my camp. Came across two snakes on one of my patrols. Sometimes, I would slack at one corner on a staircase, wondering why the floodlights at Choa Chu Kang Stadium were still on. (the stadium is near my camp).

Nothing eventful happened, save for the fact that two of my prowler friends encountered durian pickers at the fence.

Yuki and Yaki

Organised a Treetop Community dinner impromptu at Orchard last weekend. Rushed to the place after a very exciting game of DoTa with Eddie Cai. Gathered at the crowded MRT with Raymond, Alvin Ong, Eddie Cai and Ivan. It seemed to be a small world after all, as I met with fellow RJians (those from ODAC). They too were having some ODAC outing. Saw Zhengxian trudging towards us; he seemed to be exhausted and full as he had just come from his class outing.

Wandered around the Orchard area to make ourselves even hungrier. (or is it more hungry?) At last we settled on this Jap restaurant Yuki and Yaki at Cineleisure. Yuki and Yaki is a weird hybrid of Sakae Sushi and Seoul Garden.

Since we could stay for 2 1/2 hours, we devoured as much meat as possible. The sushi seemed stale after circulating round the restaurant countless of times on the conveyor belt. We left after feeling quite bloated on a diet of meat and fruit juices.

Browsed at a Korean shop at the basement, where they sell everything Korean, from cups, dictionarys and even rice (??). Stared at Bae Yong Jun and Won Bin. I wonder why so many aunties and girls swoon over them. After all, he is human like any of us: two eyes, two ears, one nose and a mouth plus black hair too. Geez.

Note: The trainee waitress at Yuki and Yaki there is very cute... Can almost rival Month or the Desert Rose. Left a place a happy guy. :D

The World of Slacking, Sleeping, Smoking and Sleaze

Read one of my friend's blog recently and I have to agree that NS guys are living in two different worlds----the normal civilian life versus the desert world of the army (aka the Matrix). In camp, I am surrounded by people from all walks of life.

Hate it when people smoke, firstly cause I AM the sweeper that is supposed to clear all their smut, ash and all. Twenty cigarettes littered on the floor is no joke when the ash is so damn concentrated; I swear that the stench is worse that the one caused by the chemical explosion in the chem lab (triggered by me) two years ago. The decomposed form of a burnt cigarette is a disgusting sight to behold, an abomination that is melted black which looks worse than the pigeons' excrement.

Surrounded by Malbaro everyday in the confines of my room. Initially, I was squeamish about the pollution, but gradually, sad to say, I am resigned to my environment. Why don't they all just drink one cup of cyanide?It's a much faster poison that the 4000+++ chemicals in the smoke.

My bunkmates are all (unabashedly I must say) experienced in tasting the forbidden fruit. They seem to treat social escorts as common goods. Wonder at times how many viruses and bacteria are they harbouring. I was sleeping on the couch one day when I overheard one of them blatantly making a phone call. "Hey, wanna go @#4% tonight?" .."You busy ah? Nevermind.., @#4% other time then" Thought maybe I was still dreaming. Asked him whether what I heard was really what I heard. He proceeded to look at me strangely, as if it was the most normal thing of NS guys. -.-''''

Such depressing situations confound me everyday. Once, I had to pack crates into a container for OCS cadet Taiwan trip. One of the crate is labelled condoms. Wow. Didn't know that the army cares so much for our welfare, that it provides the adequate protection for our 'Happy Hour'---an epitome of one of our core values:"care for soldiers". *sarcasm*

Needless to say, every other vices available to man is available in camp. (rhymes). Honestly, I am afraid of this corruption, though on the outside I may appear nonchalant. Sometimes, it is good that girls do not serve NS; they don't have to be exposed to the seedier side of society. Now I know why guys age a lot in camp. I am curious if my bunkmates ever thought of the future, when now they are happily sowing the seeds. Imagine one day if they do get married, when they stand at the altar with their wives...how on earth are they going to profess that they love her and look straight in her eye, when they have done ...erm.,u get the point.

Thankfully, I have Proverbs 5 to remind me now and then of the perils of promiscuity. Sigh. 1 1/2 year to ORD

The Most Powerful Hero in Dota

Welcome...to Slackmont Camp

Experienced many stuffs, both good and bad, during months of service in this camp. Used to be confined in a 20m X 5m cell everyday, now I am transferred to a bigger room, one that is complete with sofas and magazines

Since superiors are often jealous that we, the auxiliary personnel, have nothing to do (not like they can find some work for us to do), they often make us do menial jobs. By now, I have swept the floor so many times that I lost count. Heck, I can even rival the Soon Kiat workers in their skill (those from RI might recall the green friendly roadcleaners). I think I am addicted to sweeping the floor. Sometimes, they would order me to mop the floor, which I would painstakingly mop when no officers are around, then bend my back to quickly wipe the floor dry with an old rag. At other times, we are ordered to pick up dead leaves in the carpark.

I am glad to see the old lady cleaner everyday. She recognises me as her NS counterpart and never fails to greet me every morning. Occasionally, she would offer me some mangoes picked from the floor. I was touched when she offered me to drink from her thermal flask filled with tea, seeing that I was exhausted shifting books from one place to another. I guess that only the both of us can truly understand our plights.

Had to clean an unused lady bunk a few days ago. Came across the dead rat which looked like it died for quite some time. Felt like paper when I had to sweep it to the dustpan. Its head looks ...hollow?..Urgh.

I do not

whine. I am doing national service........by keeping the country clean. Who knows, when I grow up, I can even tidy up my household when my spouse is too busy. Hehe.

Winglam: "so what are you now, teckbeng?"
Me: "I am an auxiliary personnel"
"Doing?"
"Auxiliary stuffs"
"..........."